


I Have Ugly Eyes

by sourpatchlevi



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Bullying, Furuhashi expressing emotions, Hara's eyes, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Swearing, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 06:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7303114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourpatchlevi/pseuds/sourpatchlevi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The two boys share a kiss one night at a party. Then they share more than just kisses, feelings develop, and things come quickly crashing down when unsettled issues from their past get in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Have Ugly Eyes

“Aye, Furuhashi, we should kiss.”

“Hara, you’re drunk.”

“Yeah,” he hiccupped, then laughed, “And you’re cute. Kiss me.”

Furuhashi stared back at the other boy, eyebrow raised, but he didn’t notice; Between the darkness of the room and the hair that covered over his eyes he really couldn’t see much.

They were at a house party, courtesy of Hara, who decided that the club never did anything fun and dragged them all for a night out. Hanamiya and Seto had already left hours ago. Hanamiya got into a fight with one of the football players and got himself kicked out. Seto took the opportunity to leave as well, using the excuse that he needed to make sure Hanamiya got home safe, but he really just wanted to be able to go back home to sleep. Yamazaki was still here, but he had some girl rubbing her ass against his dick on the makeshift dance floor in the basement and couldn’t give less of a fuck what the other two boys were doing.

Furuhashi would have left, but he felt bad leaving Hara alone with Yamazaki. Not because he was afraid Hara would have been lonely, but because he knows without someone monitoring him, Hara would have done fucking acid or something.

Furuhashi could handle when Hara drank and when he smoked pot, the whole team did that stuff, but seeing Hara fall any harder into drugs bugged him a bit.

“You don’t know what you’re saying. I think it’s time to go home.” Furuhashi got up and put out his hand to help the other boy up, but Hara grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down to the couch. When Furuhashi tried to get back up, Hara threw one of his legs over the boy’s legs, straddling him down.

“I am serious dude.”

And he sounded serious, so serious that Furuhashi’s rather emotionless face turned a slight shade of pink.

“I’m not gonna kiss you. I’m not a faggot.”

“Alright then, don’t kiss me, but I am gonna kiss you.” And before Furuhashi had the chance to push him off, Hara kissed him.

He tasted like bubblegum, his lips were soft, and it was nice, nicer than Furuhashi had expected. So, despite having just said that he wasn’t gonna kiss him, he did, and Hara smiled.

“So much for not being a fag, fag.” Hara eventually teased, when they had retreated for breath. Furuhashi rolled his eyes and continued kissing him, grabbing him by the waist intensifying the experience.

This was the first time anything happened between the too Basket Ball players, but it wasn’t the last.

~x~

“You know, I’ve known you for years, we’ve fucked like 3 times, and I still have never seen your eyes.” The two boys were lying in bed, naked, dripping in sweat, still mildly affected by a post fuck daze.

This was the first time the subject had ever been brought up.

“Yeah.” Hara usually was much more lively when he spoke, but this wasn’t something he wanted to be talking about. Furuhashi noticed, but ignored it, he wanted to talk about this. He needed to.

“Why? I’ve seen every part of you. What’s so bad about your eyes that I can’t see them?” _They can’t be worse than mine._ He wanted to say. He didn’t.

The answer flashed in Hara’s mind, but he just shrugged.

“Seriously though, I have had my tongue in your ass,” Furuhashi deadpanned. Hara laughed. It was true.

“Oh my God, don’t say gay shit like that.”

“Really, Hara? You say gross shit all the time.”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s weird when it comes out of your mouth. Especially when you say it with such a blank expression.” Hara continued laughing, he didn’t notice the slight drop in Furuhashi’s face.

“Whatever.”

~x~

_“I hate my eyes.”_

_“Why is that, darling? You have beautiful eyes. So many people would be jealous.” His mother says, not turning away from her work._

_“Yeah, you are gonna get all the ladies with those when you grow up.” His father adds, taking a sip of his espresso. The boy thought girls were gross, but he didn’t say anything about that. It wasn’t the time._

_“Nobody else has eyes like mine. Not anybody at school, not any of my friends, not you mama, or you papa, and not brother either. I’m weird.” The small boy pokes at his eyes, jerking his face away from his fingertips when his eyes begin burning and watering._

_“You’re not weird. Now drop this nonsense. Did some one say something to you? I can call the school.” His mother finally looks at him._

_She says he is not weird, but in a country that is 98% Japanese, he is weird. In a family that was Japanese, and looked Japanese, the adopted little boy was weird. But she wasn’t going to say anything about that now, not while he was so young, so vulnerable._

_“You don’t have to call the school,” he didn’t want to be known as a snitch, “Never mind.”_

_“Son, if anyone is saying something to you, just knock ‘em around a lil’ bit. Be tough and they will leave you alone.”_

_And he did. He fought them. He fought all the kids who teased him for looking different. All the kids who said his glowing green eyes were creepy. He fought and he fought, until he couldn’t fight anymore. Until his body ached, until he’d jump at loud noises, until he couldn’t look at anyone in the eyes with out the anxiety and fear of being attacked, he had kept fighting, but he reached his limit, so he hid. He grew his hair out to cover his eyes and people began leaving him alone. He discovered his shield, it wasn’t until he met Hanamiya that he found his sword, and it wasn’t until he met Furuhashi that he found his heart._

_~x~_

__“Koijuro.”

“Yes, Kazuya?”

The sound of their first names on their tongues was funny. To get used to it they tried saying their names as much as possible. The rest of the team thought it was annoying, but it was their little inside joke and their team wasn’t around right now to say anything. It was just the two of them, walking home from the arcade.

“I think I love you.”

The world stopped moving. Furuhashi’s eyes grew wide and his face flushed.

He wasn’t the kind of person that people loved.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’m not joking, Koijuro”

“You are always joking, Kazuya.”

“Not this time.” The boy blew a bubble and kept walking.

The other just stood there, until words began falling out of his mouth.

“Then look me in the eyes and say it.”

It was Hara’s turn now to stop and look at the other with disbelief.

He was being put to the test. He didn’t like it.

“Not now. Not here.”

The sound of cars driving by was the only thing that could be heard. Furuhashi nodded in acceptance.

~x~

_“Guys, let’s play zombies! Furuhashi will be the zombie.”_

_He was always the zombie._

_“You guys remember the rules, right? He’s gonna chase us and if you get tagged you become a zombie too. Okay?”_

_All the kids nodded._

_“I don’t wanna be the zombie.”_

_“Oh, common Furu, it’s more realistic when you’re the zombie.” Another one of the boys chimed in._

_“Yeah! I mean you practically are one.” And another one._

_“Have you looked in the mirror? Your look dead.” And another one._

_“Oh my Gosh! What if he is a zombie?” And another one._

_“He has to be!! Look at those eyes!!” And another one._

_And all the kids began screaming and ran away._

_“But guys, I am a human too.”_

_No one heard him._

_So he cried. He cried and cried, until his face hurt and the skin around his eyes swelled, but when he walked away from the playground, no one went chasing after him._

_He walked into the school and found the bathroom; he needed to see if they were right. He knew he was a human, but what if he wasn’t? What if he just thought that he was?_

_He looked into the mirror. His eyes looked back at him, tinted pink from the tears, but showing no sign of life. It really was as if he were dead._

_He began shaking. The other kids were telling the truth. He wasn’t human. He became scared of himself._

_And so the little zombie boy was left all alone, making sure he kept his distance from all humans. He didn’t want them to turn into a zombie because of him._

_But when Hara had kissed him, he couldn’t help but become a little selfish. He was willing to take the risk, but in the end it just blew up in his face._

_~x~_

__Beautiful green orbs reflected off blank grey mirrors.

“I wasn’t joking. I really do love you.” The green orbs smiled. They truly loved.

Furuhashi turned red again, but this time not because of mutual feelings.

“What the fuck, Hara?” He could see the happiness get replaces by fear in his partner’s eyes. He was so easy to read when exposed like this.

He dropped his shield back over his face

“What?”

“You’re eyes are fucking beautiful.” Hara smiled and relaxed, “Why would you ever want to cover those up? Are you stupid?”

“It’s just that- “ Hara began explaining, but Furuhashi interrupted.

“All my life, I would have killed for eyes like yours, but instead I have these pieces of shit stuck in my skull.” Furuhashi got up from Hara’s bed. He was visibly angry and for the first time since Hara was a child, he was genuinely scared.

“I like your eyes,” his voice quivered.

“Liar. You’re just a fucking liar Hara. And here I thought that maybe we were the same, but we aren’t. Fuck you! Do you know how much happier I would be if I were you? All you’d need to do is cut your stupid hair and everyone would be all over you. You wouldn’t need to be with some freak like me!” This was the most expression Furuhashi has ever shown, at least since he cried on the playground that one day.

Hara snapped.

“No, fuck you Furuhashi!” He stood up, now at eye level with the other, “You at least look like you belong here. You look the people around you. You look like your family does. Me? I am the freak. Find one other person around that looks like I do in this entire country. You fucking can’t. Don’t act like you’re the only one with fucking issues and don’t you dare take out that bullshit on the people who actually fucking care about you!”

And silence.

The two stared at each other, thoughts flying a mile a minute.

They have known each other for years and have fucked more times than ether of them can count. Furuhashi saw Hara’s eyes and Hara saw Furuhashi emote. But this is the first time that they have ever fought with one another.

And neither of them knew whether they’d ever be able to make up. Their own self worth too shallow to even fill their own hearts, let alone each other’s.


End file.
